Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I feel sick
I have to go home in two weeks, and I have knots in my stomach. I don't want to face what lies ahead of me, but if I'm going to be able to come back here and live peacefully, I have to. The time has come where I have to make some decisions... I'm really in the process of committing to a new lifestyle. It's a little scary, but when I let go of all that fear and just let myself be present here, I know this is where I want to be. When I think about going home and getting wrapped back up in my life there, I get knots in my stomach...big, anxious knots. That must be a sign, eh? It's so overwhelming sometimes that I feel like my chest is going to explode. I get a little bit anxious about staying here, but only when I think about all of the stuff I need to handle at home in order to do it. Aah!!! Somebody just tell me the right thing to do! (No biased opinions, please.) :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
You have plenty of friends here stateside who are willing to help you through whatever, just like you do CostaRicanside. (I just coined that)
It will all be ok.
You know as well as anybody, (you brought this to my attention),that the fear itself is far worse than facing your fear & taking it on. You can do it!
I'd like to offer something good but I'm dealing with a few "knots" myself that I don't understand. Call me & we'll talk.
Come back. We miss you. And then let's go back to Costa Rica next year.
You had to make your own financial way in life and you did. You had businesses and investments and became incredibly smart in the business world. In my circle of business associates you were often talked about, always with the highest admiration. Everyone thought how incredible you were to be a woman in the business world and do so well. You became very well respected over time as you did different deals. Sure, you made some mistakes now and then, who doesn't? but as a whole you were building a nice financial empire. When someone had some spare cash that they needed to put to work it was common to ask "what does linda have in the works?" You were well on the road to financial freedom. I think it's important to point out that your financial success did not change untill after you made the decision to change your spiritual direction. When you lived with us in Hawaii is when you started saying some alarming things, in fact I remember that you were going to test God by not doing some of the things that you had been taught by the church. Well you didn't get struck down or ran over because of it, but did you lose a little of the spirit that had guided you so well in your life? At that time you still had the first expensive speck house that you could have lost big on, but instead you ended up making 50K. You were on top of the world financially. You always had plenty and when you needed it it was there. Your credit was super and your net worth was growing. Linda it was after your decision to change that things started to fall apart. Financial failure can be one of the most painful losses their is, one of the most difficult to deal with. Many people give up on life completely after a financial setback. I am asking you to carry on. Don't waste all the knowledge you've gained through your business experiences. Take everything you've learned and get back on the ride and rebuild. It's not to late. I wondered about sending this response to you in a letter in private but I think some of your friends should understand a bit about the real you. I believe the real you is someone committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ, who wants a husband and children but is not willing to marry until it's right. You're always at the top of the class and can accomplish any thing you choose to do. A role model and a friend to all. My advice is to choose the path that requires neccessary changes and hard work.
Your brother, Jerry
Linda, remember that it's kind of like Bob on "What about Bob" :) BABY STEPS...baby step to the door...baby step down the hall...baby steps back to 'tah. :) Cross each bridge as you come to it. Try not to let the next couple weeks be less beautiful by being overly concerned. (easier said than done.) Whenever I feel those knots in my stomache, I sing in my mind (I'm tone deaf :) "Be still my soul." These two verses hit the spot,
"1. Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In EVERY change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below."
Love your guts out!
Post a Comment